Acintya Gaura Das
Dear Srila Gurudeva,
Please accept my unlimited obeisances unto your lotus feet.
On the very auspicious occasion of centennial of your appearance, I have been given an opportunity to offer sraddha puspanjali at your lotus feet. While I am not qualified to do so, following the orders of the Vaisnavas is the duty of the conditional souls like me. I cannot but remember how merciful you were to me.
Even though I was not eligible to take harinama nor was I following the four regulative principles when I first met you, you kindly asked me to follow the regulative principles immediately and gave me harinama. While you mentioned that we should start chanting with a minimum of eight rounds, you stated that your disciples will eventually chant 64 rounds, when enquired by a devotee, on how many rounds a devotee should chant.
By your causeless mercy, I was able to attend the Vraja mandala parikrama later in the year. You even gave me diksa even though I was not qualified for it. Your kindness knows no bounds and that you asked me to shave up for diksa at the beginning of Kartik so that the hair size wouldn’t be too small when I go back to work after kartik. You once mentioned to a devotee that you gave diksa to both types of devotees, one who is qualified to take diksa, and one who is not qualified to take diksa, so you can make them qualified.
Without your association, I would not have understood what Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Rupa Gosvami and our Acharyas came to give. Without your extraordinary attachment to observing Srila Rupa Gosvami’s disappearance festival – we would not have understood, as to how important the instructions and ideals of Rupa Gosvami are, to the living entities. How you used to emphasize again and again the importance of keeping the barometer of the uttama bhakti verse high in our daily activities. To save the mission of Caitanya Mahaprabhu, it seemed that Sri Rupa Gosvami had manifested as you.
While you were at a much higher level than a sadhaka, you still performed your activities like a sadhaka to show us how to lead our lives. This included observing Ekadasis, Caturmasya and other festivals, till the last days of your manifested pastimes, not wasting even a moment. Either you were chanting, translating scriptures or delivering harikatha. You showed us how vital guru nistha is to our bhakti, by leading your life for the service and pleasure of your Guru Maharaja. While visiting homes, you acted in a way that never inconvenienced the host but rather increased their faith in you.
While you always reminded us of our goal by asking questions like: What is our relationship with Krsna and what is our relationship with Mother Yasoda, you also instructed us to first give up what is unfavourable to bhakti and accept only that is favourable to bhakti.
You asked us to follow Upadeshamtra, Manah Siksa, Jaiva Dharma and especially Dasa Mula Tattva so that our foundation is strong enough to achieve our goal.
By your selfless nature of always giving and not asking for anything, you have captured my heart. Like you said and demonstrated, that you did not come to collect money or disciples, you just wanted to speak harikatha and help anyone who came to meet you to progress in their spiritual journey. Even when I did some small service, you accepted that service as something that is valuable. While I had not fully surrendered to you, you still accepted me as your own.
On this auspicious occasion I am praying that I can have the intelligence to understand your manobhistam and strength to surrender unto you and follow your instructions to please you.
Your fallen servant
Acintya Gaura Dasa