Sri Guru-Gauranga-Gandharvika-Giridhari Jayatah!

I offer my humble obeisances at the lotus feet of my beloved Gurudeva, Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja.

When I was a "new devotee" in a different spiritual organization, I prayed to God to protect me and show me the right path to achieve my ultimate goal. One day, I saw a beautiful picture of child Krishna (in a sitting posture and eating makhan [butter]). I felt deep in my heart as if He were calling me to come to Vrndavana (His sweet home). Somehow or other, I was able to reach Vrndavana, but without money and without any idea where to go. Someone told me, "You can go to Ananda-Dhama, where the disciples of Srila Narayana Maharaja are staying." I went inside the asrama in the evening and saw a sannyasi (later I came to know that he was Sripad Aranya Maharaja) doing Tulasi parikrama, along with 10 or 15 other devotees and small children .

When the arati was finished, Maharaja came to me and after the introduction was over, he told me, "You can stay here. After three days, there is festival in the Delhi Ramana-Bihari Gaudiya Matha and Guru Maharaja will be present there. So you can go and meet him."

After three days, I arrived in the Delhi matha in the afternoon. In the evening, the matha's President took me in his car to meet Guruji, who was staying in a devotee's house 25 km away from the matha.

For the first time when I came before Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja, immediately a deep feeling arose in my heart, as if I were standing directly before Srila Prabhupada! For a few seconds, I couldn't understand what should I do. But immediately I regained my composure and offered dandavat pranam. Maharaja Ji asked me, "What is your name? Where are you from?". Very briefly I told him that I used to be associated with a different spiritual organization but didn't get any satisfaction there, so I came to take shelter at his lotus feet. Immediately Guru Maharaja said, "Don't worry. I will give you initiation. Stay in Delhi and be a good devotee and also read my books." This incident happened in 2002. After two years, he gave me diksa.

In 2006 , Srīla Gurudeva gave me sannyasa diksa but that happened in a very very dramatic manner. Till the last moment I didn't know that he was going to give me sannyasa diksa.

Between 2002 and 2008, I faced several challenges but I knew that Srila Gurudeva knew exactly what was really going on, and he had genuine compassion and mercy for me in his heart, though sometimes he chastised me externally. Many times he gave me very deep instructions in such a way that it was impossible for others to understand anything about it. And today those instructions have become my "Heart and Soul," even unknowingly.

These things cannot be explained in words. Today I am completely alone (materially). I have no connection with anyone in this world, but still I always feel I am protected by my spiritual master. He is watching my activities. I am always confident that by his mercy, one day - don't know in how many kalpas - I must be successful in my devotional activities. I know these kalpas are nothing but wild imaginary dreams and when proper time will come, I shall be able to get His (my eternal savior's) audience directly.

The relationship between a sad-guru and sad-sisya is eternal. No external force has the capacity to break it up. It is simply not possible. People who think "spirituality is our private property" have always been devoured by the time spirit (Kala-Cakra). Nobody remembers them, but unfortunately they don't realise that. That is their misfortune.

On this auspicious day, my humbly prayer at the lotus feet of my spiritual master is for him to please be merciful towards this wretched person and give me the necessary qualifications to serve his lotus feet eternally.

Vaisnava dasanudas,
B.V. Madhusudana Maharaja